Thursday, October 23, 2008

My worst day?

OK, so maybe not my worst entire day, but the last 2 hours have been ruddy awful. I am awarding myself worst mom of the day today for the fiasco that was naptime. Logan has never been a particularly willing napper, and Myra NEVER sleeps when it is time to put him down, so naptimes have been a challenge in our household of late. I was determined that today would be better. I started out by warning Logan that naptime was coming and setting the timer so that he would know. (As an aside, why do I read parenting books - so not helpful!!) When the timer went off, I was nursing Myra, but had had the foresight to put her in a sling, so no problem. Logan and I headed off to his room and he laid down in bed, no fighting. Whew! So far we are doing great! Then the squirming and kicking started, but this is status quo, so I just did the usual Mommy Bye-bye, which generally works (sort of). Here is where it all goes downhill. At this point, I was starting to get angry. We'd been in his room for over a half hour and he was still climbing the walls - literally. I grabbed his hand to pull him back down into his bed, but I was mad and pulled too hard, and cracked his sweet little face into the bed frame. Oh, I am the worst mommy ever! My son is bleeding and it is my fault! So, as I waited for CPS to come take me away, I laid Myra down, cleaned up Logan and snuggled my poor boy-o. And this is why anger is a sin. There is no way I was going to put him back in his cold lonely bed, so I slung Myra up high on my shoulder and snuggled Logan on the other side. I was road testing my fleece sling, so Logan got a kick out of using the tail as a blankie. Whew! Everyone is happy again. Except me, of course, I am still riddled with guilt. And the sling, which is spattered with blood. Logan fell asleep in my arms and so I stood up to lay him down in bed, but made a fatal error. I didn't unwrap the tail of the sling, so Logan ended up laying on it and I woke him trying to get untangled. Sigh, more crying and guilt. So, now he is crying for the "purple blankie" (the sling!) but Myra is still in it!! Well, I took it off and wrapped it around him, but that wasn't enough. He wanted Myra and I to lay down with him in his bed! As you might imagine, his toddler bed was NOT built for three. Still, we managed it, sort of. And he finally fell asleep - two hours after his regular naptime. And that is the story of why my sweet little man is sleeping, wrapped in a blood-spattered purple fleece sling, and sporting a swollen lip. Oh, he is so sweet when he sleeps.


The Thorley Family said...

Have hope... I have given myself the worst mom award more times than I care to admit - and somehow those darling, sweet children manage to forgive and forget and still love me in the morning.

The Mommy said...

Stop doing this to yourself!!! That is an order from your Mommy! We've all been there -- you are only a bad Mommy if you MEANT to hurt your child, or, if your child is truly hurt and you don't care at all.
Also: anger is not a sin. Feelings are neither right nor wrong, they just are. Wrong is when you use your feelings as an excuse to justify hurting someone. Actions can be good or bad, feelings just are.
You are a great Mommy.
I have spoken.