Congratulations, Dan & Kali!!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Dispersion
So it seems that change is coming more gradually to the scale. Several reasons exist:
1. 12 days of 16 hour shifts, then two days off, then another 12 days of 16 hour shifts. (Those keeping track of my adherence to the mandatory maximum of 80 hours per week should probably jump to the next reason and avoid any mental math right now.)
2. See #1 above, cf. inability to exercise
3. See #1 above, cf. inability to obtain sufficient sleep
4. See #1 above, cf. inability to do anything other than the ICU.
Hard to stay motivated to lose weight when you have precisely enough extra time to eat dinner, then put the kids to bed, prior to collapsing. However, I am hoping that my next rotation will offer opportunity to refocus my currently dispersed (nay, hopelessly lost) aspirations.
I dug a little more into the BMI, and there is an interesting article from that fount of all human knowledge, Wikipedia. Suffice to say there is a large disparity between current use of the BMI and the appropriate use.
I am not trying to "diet" per se, as that is a temporary and ultimately self-defeating concept. I am trying to change my approach to food, and resist what I consider to be one of the worst and most pervasive aspects of American culture: the attempt to disconnect actions from consequences. I shouldn't be surprised that I can't lose weight as long as I keep dosing myself with the occasional handful of Peanut M&Ms (the so-called "extended release" version of M&Ms). Can't get skinny eating the same foods that made me fat.
Mentally, this is quite challenging. I am reminded of a talk by Dallin H. Oaks about repentance. He uses the analogy of a tree being blown in the wind. If the wind is strong enough, the tree bends down and gets mud on its leaves. The process of "repentance" for this tree is not designed to clean the leaves, for with the next strong wind it will bend just as easily. Repentance implies strengthening the tree itself, so that the next wind will not bend it.
So how does one become mentally strong? I already have lots of random, self-defeating thoughts banging about the back of the brain, telling me that I'm going too fast, that somehow this is bad for me, questioning whether this represents some oddball fad or eating disorder. Some days I wish my brain was susceptible to a good dose of "SHUT UP!"; however, it seems impervious to such potions, much like my 3 year old.
I certainly feel better. I have now moved to a separate section of my closet which contains pants from approximately 3 years ago. I am never really hungry, although this is by careful design, as if I allow hunger I will engage in a hugely disgusting binge. I haven't noticed any change in my running, but I haven't been running in 4 weeks, so it's hard to tell.
As far as I can tell, one of the keys was a desparation move I made about 8 weeks ago. I had decided I would actually comply with our church's recommendation to fast once per month. I haven't done that in, oh, years. I started out in the morning and (critical error) forgot to pray. Just a few hours later, I was literally on my knees trying to fight these insanely powerful hunger pangs that have sabotaged every previous attempt to eat properly. From past experience I know that these pangs are not satisfied regardless of the amount of food I eat; only if I eat large amounts of junk food will they go away. Katie asked me if I had tried praying; I did so in short order, begging almost randomly to let this fast provide me with "willpower". Said hunger pangs almost immediately went away, and from that day I have been much more able to fight back against these crazy binges that occasinally consume me.
Junk food is addictive, in the same fashion that cigarettes and cocaine are (See also here, and here). And it's nice to know that God has power, even over that.
1. 12 days of 16 hour shifts, then two days off, then another 12 days of 16 hour shifts. (Those keeping track of my adherence to the mandatory maximum of 80 hours per week should probably jump to the next reason and avoid any mental math right now.)
2. See #1 above, cf. inability to exercise
3. See #1 above, cf. inability to obtain sufficient sleep
4. See #1 above, cf. inability to do anything other than the ICU.
Hard to stay motivated to lose weight when you have precisely enough extra time to eat dinner, then put the kids to bed, prior to collapsing. However, I am hoping that my next rotation will offer opportunity to refocus my currently dispersed (nay, hopelessly lost) aspirations.
I dug a little more into the BMI, and there is an interesting article from that fount of all human knowledge, Wikipedia. Suffice to say there is a large disparity between current use of the BMI and the appropriate use.
I am not trying to "diet" per se, as that is a temporary and ultimately self-defeating concept. I am trying to change my approach to food, and resist what I consider to be one of the worst and most pervasive aspects of American culture: the attempt to disconnect actions from consequences. I shouldn't be surprised that I can't lose weight as long as I keep dosing myself with the occasional handful of Peanut M&Ms (the so-called "extended release" version of M&Ms). Can't get skinny eating the same foods that made me fat.
Mentally, this is quite challenging. I am reminded of a talk by Dallin H. Oaks about repentance. He uses the analogy of a tree being blown in the wind. If the wind is strong enough, the tree bends down and gets mud on its leaves. The process of "repentance" for this tree is not designed to clean the leaves, for with the next strong wind it will bend just as easily. Repentance implies strengthening the tree itself, so that the next wind will not bend it.
So how does one become mentally strong? I already have lots of random, self-defeating thoughts banging about the back of the brain, telling me that I'm going too fast, that somehow this is bad for me, questioning whether this represents some oddball fad or eating disorder. Some days I wish my brain was susceptible to a good dose of "SHUT UP!"; however, it seems impervious to such potions, much like my 3 year old.
I certainly feel better. I have now moved to a separate section of my closet which contains pants from approximately 3 years ago. I am never really hungry, although this is by careful design, as if I allow hunger I will engage in a hugely disgusting binge. I haven't noticed any change in my running, but I haven't been running in 4 weeks, so it's hard to tell.
As far as I can tell, one of the keys was a desparation move I made about 8 weeks ago. I had decided I would actually comply with our church's recommendation to fast once per month. I haven't done that in, oh, years. I started out in the morning and (critical error) forgot to pray. Just a few hours later, I was literally on my knees trying to fight these insanely powerful hunger pangs that have sabotaged every previous attempt to eat properly. From past experience I know that these pangs are not satisfied regardless of the amount of food I eat; only if I eat large amounts of junk food will they go away. Katie asked me if I had tried praying; I did so in short order, begging almost randomly to let this fast provide me with "willpower". Said hunger pangs almost immediately went away, and from that day I have been much more able to fight back against these crazy binges that occasinally consume me.
Junk food is addictive, in the same fashion that cigarettes and cocaine are (See also here, and here). And it's nice to know that God has power, even over that.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Dropping
Today the scale broke the 175 pound mark.
That's not bad. This process begin with the post of me running--so you have the time frame.
From 198 to 175 is pretty good.
Goal? The medical literature argues that my ideal body weight for my height is about 155. I don't know that I will get that low, but certainly there's still plenty to lose.
That's not bad. This process begin with the post of me running--so you have the time frame.
From 198 to 175 is pretty good.
Goal? The medical literature argues that my ideal body weight for my height is about 155. I don't know that I will get that low, but certainly there's still plenty to lose.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Ponytail!
She finally has enough hair for a ponytail!!
And Rina, you can make fun all you want. I think she's adorable.
And Rina, you can make fun all you want. I think she's adorable.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
School days
Logan had his second day of Joy School today, and I manged to get his backpack made in time, so here he is with it on! I know, those straps are impressive, hey? He really likes it and I had a hard time getting him to take it off in the car. Yay!
Randi was our teacher today. She was awesome!! Logan was begging to "Do it again!" before we even left the house. Since Randi and I have the littlest of the littles in our group, we agreed to trade off watching our littler ones when we are teaching, so I got to take Lisa home with me today.
We had lots of fun! The girls were so cute playing together. I was really impressed at how well they both shared. Lisa had a great time terrorizing the cat. Fortunately, Godiva is used to that sort of "fun". She's had plenty of practice!!
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Gymastics!!!!
We are packing in the fun these days, first with Joy School, and now with gymnastics! Logan LOVES it!! Before class even started he was "hanging" out on the equipment.
Although there is room for 6 kiddos in his class, he is currently solo. It is awesome, since he gets one on one coaching, but I think it would be fun for him to have a buddy or two in there. A friend of ours from church should be starting next month, so that will be fun.
Although there is room for 6 kiddos in his class, he is currently solo. It is awesome, since he gets one on one coaching, but I think it would be fun for him to have a buddy or two in there. A friend of ours from church should be starting next month, so that will be fun.Class starts out with warm ups.
Logan bear crawls...
Bunny hops...
and stretches.
Some times he is more cooperative than others.
His favorite thing is the big trampoline.
Today the skill that we were working on was straddling with his legs. Here he is jumping over the stuffed animals. He really had fun doing this!
A fun forward roll keeps things moving.
Logan bear crawls...
Bunny hops...
and stretches.
Some times he is more cooperative than others.
His favorite thing is the big trampoline.
Today the skill that we were working on was straddling with his legs. Here he is jumping over the stuffed animals. He really had fun doing this!
A fun forward roll keeps things moving.They set up sort of obstacle courses to work on different ways to use the skill of the day. Here are some parts of the course today.
Straddling an object while coach rolled it back and forth. This was really fun!
Then straddle-jumping up onto something. Logan had a little trouble with this, since he's a little short, but he climbed.
Jump!
Another forward roll.
Bubbles!!
And a try on the rings. He hung there really well, but we won't be trying any iron crosses just yet.
Straddling an object while coach rolled it back and forth. This was really fun!Then straddle-jumping up onto something. Logan had a little trouble with this, since he's a little short, but he climbed.Jump!Myra wanted in on the fun, too. Since we are the only ones there, she has the run of the gym. She loves it, too!
Another forward roll.
Bubbles!!
And a try on the rings. He hung there really well, but we won't be trying any iron crosses just yet.Thursday, September 17, 2009
First day of school?!?
...Already?!?! Seriously. How is my little man old enough for preschool?
But here he is with his class. We are doing a Joy School type preschool, where the moms rotate teaching the kids. We started today at the Smith's house.
Here is Logan, all ready with his "backpack". With all the wedding sewing going on I haven't had a chance to make his backpack. I have this adorable pattern and great plans... I WILL get made before next week!
Fortunately, he doesn't care. He has been so excited!! 
He wouldn't stop jumping all morning!
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